/lit/ - Literature

/lit/izens, I was hoping to get some professional help--but you'll have to do.

Could you look over this and tell me what you think? It's the potential prologue for a novel I've been 'writing'--and I use that term so loosely that you wouldn't know it was there--for six years now.

http://www.mediafire.com/?uv0kohdh29r2xfh

If you're at all interested, there's also http://www.esperism.blogspot.com and http://www.ashcroft.wikidot.com
I'm on this whole self-betterment plan, and going back to writing more is one of the big parts.
The best way to not suck at something is to have people tell you how you suck, I always say.

Picture vaguely related.