/lit/ - Literature

>>14279726
>commits suicide four times

>very attractive, get laid often, many romantic affairs
>never loved any of them, ghost them randomly when i lose interest, many were interested in marrying me
>people always take pity on me and help me
>behave contemptibly
>deepseated social anxiety that i cover up to the point people actually enjoy hanging out with me
>distrustful, even when something seems to go well i'm certain i'm being set up for greater suffering when it falls to shit
>miserable life
>sickly
>constant financial worries, chronic debtor
>rootless, move around often
>cut off from family, we don't get along, but they still send me money sometimes
>incapable of holding a job or supporting a family
>love booze
>usually in despair, brood in solitude for long periods of time
>from rural area, trying to come off as urbane and suave so people think i'm a city native
>often act arrogant and rowdy, actually emotionally crippled and in constant existential terror
>used to be considered incredibly smart, career nonexistent and all potential squandered
>idealize suicide as a final way out of worldly suffering

At least I don't abuse drugs or get drunk more than once a week.