/lit/ - Literature

>>20324485
There are 4 options of dealing with your consciousness
a) isolation (just turn your brain off, bro)
b) anchoring (religion, family, social structures)
c) distraction (vidya, porn, shitposting)
d) sublimation (creative outlet, not shitposting)
You've picked the fifth non-option (doing nothing while maintaining self-awareness) and sadly I have to inform you that there's nothing but suicide down that road. Personally, I'm trying to switch from distraction to sublimation. It's hard because I'm a midwit too but struggle is preferable to empty existential dread.

>>18795962
Definitely don't quit cold turkey. You'd likely go through hell, possibly even risking permanent health damage. Based on extensive first-hand experience with this shit, I recommend tapering off with beer - at least 7 days of gradually lowering number of cans. Beer is ideal for this because it's digested more easily, provides hydratation and it's pretty much impossible to get drunk on it and lose control. Don't treat the beer like booze at this point, but necessary medicine. There will be withdrawals anyway, but far milder than cutting abruptly.

>>18765506
Of course, but tell that to a horny teenager getting his first taste of pussy with a big-titted slut willing to do anything in bed. Now I fully realize what an awful person she was, and I'm more attached to the drama and trauma than to her. In my defence, she tried to get back repeatedly in the span of 4 year afterwards and I turned her down.

Ironically, she's the rising star of conservative politics in my country because of her rich and well-connected family, married to a clueless trad simp.

It's over /lit/

I've been working on this book for almost 6 years (been planning it for even longer). Got to about 250,000 words edited, another 300,000 to trim down into something readable. Printed some of it for a friend to review; mom found it in my room while she was cleaning.

The absolute worst part is that the first pages introduce a character who experiences persistent Oedipal dreams following the death of his abusive father, after which he begins pursuing women who look like his mother. Since my own father died recently she is convinced that it's intended as a self-insert and that I am coping with sexual attraction to her. I tried to explain the Marquis de Sade, sexual politics, and Freudian psychoanalysis to her (the character is intended as a commentary on the sexual politics of inceldom as he had nowhere to express his sexual desires under the oppressive thumb of his father and thus developed severe neuroses) but she couldn't calm herself down enough to listen. She asked me to leave for a bit; I feel that I shouldn't return.

I am 32 years old, have not held a job for more than six months ever, have no marketable skills, and my only friends close enough to take me in for any amount of time are a bizarre perverted couple who host orgies several times a week and whom I fear might make sexual advances on me if I spend any amount of time with them. I've published some select pieces (mostly erotica also, all under pseudonyms) but have made probably $1,800 total over 7 years of serious writing. As a final nail in the coffin, I lost several thousands in savings investing in bitcoin.

I'm telling you this because I have nobody else to tell it to. I intend to give the manuscript to the first friend I mentioned in hopes he can get it published, and then I will down all the alcohol I can buy and begin driving across the country. If I live, I will continue my work. If I die, I am at peace.