/lit/ - Literature

>>13141301
Thank you for the extensive comments. Firstly that's not the opening of the book. Pic related is the prior chapter, and even this I'm not sure will be the opening. There's another chapter I'm considering for the opening, but that's still up in the air. The perspective of the book is indeed an omniscient narrator. There isn't one main character but Safiyya is up there among most critical. The two most important characters besides her are not even in the passages you critiqued. The book I'm planning has A LOT of characters.

>>13104019
I'm trying to understand what this is about. Is it about some kind of post-apocalyptic cityscape or just an abandoned city of some sort? The description is quite vivid, and the precise vocabulary helps that quite a bit, but it feels too densely packed. The excessive alliteration makes it annoying to read, but I guess that was part of your assignment. I'd love to see your use of language and imagery applied to storytelling. Are you working on anything at the moment? Pic related is mine. I'll post a few more screencaps from this current project while I'm at it. Ignore everything after "Palestina Americana".

Not sure if my writing is good or just pretentious drivel. Ignore everything after "Palestina Americana". I hope you like really long sentences. Any tips on what to change, how to improve, etc are appreciated