/lit/ - Literature

>>19686746
>call him little tommy or some shit
"Tom Thumb", guarantee it.
And yes, this is exactly how actual bongs would deal with him, a torrential avalanche of brutal mockery, Cruikshank-tier cartoons depicting a midget farting with a wand lodged up his ass, columns in the paper just laying the fuck into everything about him from his complexion on down.

However it's the same category of objection as "why doesn't that muggle boy just conjure up a Glock and blast Voldy in the face": it would kill the franchise to even acknowledge the possibility.