/lit/ - Literature

>>7083568
Just for some background. This story is set in 1885 and follows the exploits of a journalist who thinks the nation is being inundated by Chinese migrants. So it's written from his sort of warped perspective (pic related). My main concern with this is that I'm trying to make it subtle but not too subtle. "Long-tailed men in tasselled yellow pyjamas" I think is an accurate description of the Chinese stereotype at the time, but if the context of the story isn't clear it'll just confuse the reader. What do you lads think?
~

Out of the bluish haze stumbled a man wearing a cowboy hat. He headed for the Haymarket. People shouted. Trams shrieked. Chickens clucked and scurried about. Men in shirt-sleeves glistened and heaved goods onto horse buggies.

‘Fine work you’re doing lads,’ the man said, doffing his hat.

The men cheered ironically.

He whisked along, through the crowds and clouds of pipe smoke, and ducked into a narrow alley. Squeezing out the other side, he found shoeless urchins playing marbles. They groaned.

‘Pardon me,’ he said, laughing and trampling their game as he hopped to the side.

Muffled shouting could be heard through the red-brick walls. Dust stirred. Above his head seagulls squawked, flapped their wings, rattled the tin rooves. There was movement in the distance. He strained his eyes and saw: Careening towards them, a pack of long-tailed men in tasselled yellow pyjamas.

‘Heavens,’ falling and kicking up dust. ‘Quick, hide!’

‘Go away,’ one of the urchins said, crossing her arms. ‘You wrecked our game,’ said another.

The man scrambled to his feet, trembling. ‘Go, run and hide, quickly!’

The urchins glared at him. The pack was closing in.

‘Bastard children.’ He reached into his pocket and tossed some pennies into a side street. They scampered off. The man, panting, staggered into a shadowed doorway. The pack thundered past, tassels whistling behind. The man wobbled to his feet. ‘Damned Chinese.’ He spat and straightened his hat. He bolted off.