/lit/ - Literature

I am beyond all reform.

The reason mass murder is such an attractive option is that it voices discontent. It actualizes one's suffering and makes it impossible to avoid some sort of response, even if that response is an automatic and quickly forgotten swatting of a mosquito. Of course, one needn't make others suffer for one's own problems; Only a terrible person would do such a thing. But of course, I am already regarded as worthless scum. Society already hates me. Society vilifies people like me. I vilify myself. At no point is my legitimacy as a human being ever considered, neither by society nor myself.

It follows that I should have no problem killing. I have minor grievances. For example, when I was 18 and begged to stay in the psych facility because I felt I was still suicidal, they suspected I just wanted attention- so I was instead released to the place I got sexually assaulted at. I never let myself be humiliated in the same way, but it is impossible to predict the manners in which you may be attacked when you are still naïve. I was beaten and abused in psych facilities, even as an adult. I witnessed other patients being abused, including one elderly stroke victim that had intense ulceration and other issues due to neglect and abuse. I could always make excuses for myself. "I'm a piece of shit, I deserve it, I hate myself, you know it's good that everyone hates me..." but when I saw other people being abused so readily, I could not think of any excuse. I grew to hate society.

It is not uncommon at all to have one's hatred of society checked only by one's hatred of the self.
In minecraft, obviously. Do I successfully impart the feeling of unhinged incel?

Should I live to make my discontent known to society? Should I make them smell the springtime carnations