/lit/ - Literature

hey /lit/, what do you think of my poem? It was for a project in response to Dulce Et Decorum Est and meant to provide a more glorified view of war. I hope the line breaks don't get screwed up. Also, I tried making my own meter. It has a pattern that I hope isn't too indiscernible


Sir Henry’s troops go marching by,
It's wartime in July.
See the horde ten thousand strong,
Hundred deep and hundred long
What else could muster such a throng
But wartime in July?

Throughout the state resounds the cry
It’s wartime in July.
Bang the drums and sound the horn.
Let those foreign souls be warned.
Long live the month when pride is born
It’s wartime in July.

Across the sandy beach they boom
Towards impending doom.
With screaming rage their muskets crash
And in their trail leave naught but ash.
No wonder why these brave men dash
Towards impending doom

Now 'midst the stench of blood and gore,
Death falls on the shore
Through severed limbs and lonely heads,
Sir Henry’s troops trod ‘mong the dead
And wading through that sea of red,
They quench their thirst for war

any good?