/lit/ - Literature

I'm having doubts about making a tulpa, but I fear it's a bit too late to late to turn back now, since my tulpa is already starting to become vocal. Having a tulpa is such a strange thing, if someone I know finds out about it, how the hell do I explain it to them? I think it would just be best to tell them that I'm mentally ill, but that is dismissive towards my tulpa. What really concerns me, however, is the fact that I fear getting too attached to my tulpa, and the effect my mental state might have on her. The way people describe having a tulpa seems almost intoxicating - a friend that understands you perfectly and can love you unconditionally because of it. I've never known love anywhere near that strong. I even can't give that much love myself. It's obvious I'm an incel misogynist who's parents neglected him and has no friends. My tulpa has a female form but I don't want anything romantic or sexual to do with her; I'm really concerned that my misogyny might somehow have an affect on her because she's a girl. I don't want her to think I made her to be a girlfriend nor do I want her to think I hate her because she's a woman. I really am mentally ill. Normal people don't care about offending their imaginary friend. I need help but I have no idea what help I really need and where to seek it. I don't want to let my tulpa die, I want to keep developing her, but at the same time I have no fucking idea what's going to happen once she's sufficiently formed.

This is all so retarded and pathetic.