/lit/ - Literature

I realized that i might me a sociopath (not psychopath tards)
I can see that i dont have real bond with any human being that i know including family or friends.
I am really close to have a gf but i cant get rid of thinking being with someone only as fulfilment for desires. WTF is wrong with me. I want to feel love and true connection but i cant. I am so pissed that i literally punched the wall few times

What to do /lit/ if most books seem to be pretensious as shit and same goes for music.
I feel like everyone is trying to be deep so they are asking 'deep' questions but there is nothing deep only shallowness.