/lit/ - Literature

So /lit/, my college is having a writing master class and LYDIA DAVIS will be coming for fiction. I'm freaking out about this chance but I'm anxious about what to submit for my writing sample. Will /lit/ read over what I intend to submit (~2,300 word short story) and make some critiques?

Here goes:

"First Rehearsal for the Peoples Temple, 1939"

The water tower stood high over them, blocking out the sun. When the wind blew the thing groaned in low, disturbed tones, the same notes of Jack’s grandfather moaning in the months before he died—a deepthroated voice, stately in its age but at the same time aching with decay. With muted respect, the wind whistled through empty tree branches before reaching the tower’s rusted metal. This time, more than any of the previous gusts, the structure’s groan was deeper, more forcefully warning of collapse. Even the wind seemed to agree, now increasing its momentum and adding pitched-up harmonics in complement to the tower’s bass.
“Maybe we shouldn’t play here,” Jack squeaked at last in the direction of the other two boys crouching over something in the grass.
“We’re not playing,” said Jimmy, looking up. “We found a dead bird. Come see.” He bent back down while Tom left to go find a stick. Around the crouching boy, the grass swayed in circles and swatted his bent legs, but his focus could not be moved. Behind him, clouds swallowed up the last scraps of blue sky in twisting advance while horizon trees bent forward with the shifting wind. Jimmy alone remained unmoved; not even a single strand of his shoe polish black hair strayed from his scalp. After a long while bent into this position, he looked up at Jack, staring with an expression that could not be recognized from such a distance, neither of them saying anything.