/lit/ - Literature

>cardboard breast
Are you an awkward fifteen year old American boy who can't resolve your attraction to women with your ass-hat male chauvinism? I'm trying, but I can't imagine a person who thought that the combination of these two words could possibly be artful in any context. If you want to talk about plastic breasts, or stone, or even bags of fat, its worth tapping into a cliche to avoid seeming completely and utterly incapable.

>shameless
Other people have addressed this, but it's incredibly unlikely that this is how she feels. If you really want to communicate your dick-head feelings pertaining to another person's behavior you should present them as your own, rather than stupidly projecting them onto the object of your observation. (Or, if you want your narrator to be mentally ill, acknowledge his projection in the poem.)

>abort
I find the pregnant teen to be psychologically unrealistic. Normal girls - particularly those interested in reproduction - see a mother feeding her baby and proceed to feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

>Is it even a poem?
Looks like a free verse scrap, but I'm only saying that because I can't see you possibly writing a complete story of any sort.

>How do I make it better?
Burn it.

>>2419943
Amusing for about three sentences, then the meta-troll broke down.

especially OP

>>1060692
>>1060702
>>1060709
Stop your samefagging asshole.

>>1031761

hasn't read 1984

Sometimes life means doing things you don't want to do.

OP you might be fucked.