/lit/ - Literature

Manbreakfast !ZuhEZMfQUQ Tue Aug 9 10:19:15 2011 No.1998889 [View]
File: 8 KB, 250x150, Kyle why.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

There are worthwhile aspects and almost quote worthy moments in there but I think /lit/ is going soft on you for some ungodly reason.

The biggest problem you have with this sample is the recurring trend of completely pointless lines. Half of your statements seem to be there for prose's sake alone and that hurts the message you are trying to send. Trim the fat then you've got something good.

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/lit/ - Literature

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