/lit/ - Literature

>>21624339
I'm dying behind this screen. While the screen buzzes with static energy, this shell of mine fades way, syncing and de-freshing every time I refresh. The circle arrow a symbol for everything that has grown corrupted in myself and in the world around me.
The internet fascinates me with its endless, directionless growth, incoherence, and basic solipsism. A quiet individualistic bombshell that has disrupted the world around me like nothing else, yet not in any strictly ideological sense. Modern technology disrupted older traditional forms, but it also brought people together, increased communication. The internet brings together and disassociates, disaggregates everything. Fragmentation of the self as opposed to the subordination of the self to the machine, the internet facilitates personal optimization for its own sake.
To distract me from myself so as to not have to face the ugliness and mediocrity of my real life. It's pure escapism, but today it no longer even feels like escape. More like being trapped in a burning madhouse.
My life has lost all direction and there is no future.
I can't claim to have a personal life, my life is itself a series of impersonal escapes into fictional distraction from my present reality. So that when I look back all I see is a series of stolen memories. Like a child stealing other's stories, making them my own, fantastic adventures. I will never get to experience half of what these characters do.
Beyond the despair, and lack of opportunity, there is a deeper spiritual void that I can never fill.
Nothing to die for, nothing to win, nowhere for us to progress. The world feels filled out, developed beyond itself, in such a way that there is no more possibility. That is what every young person feels intuitively in their anger though they lack the words to articulate it: that there is nothing to articulate, there are no more big ideas, no more genuine movements, only mere identarian reactions, and further fragmentation on an ever more crowded, competitive earth..