/lit/ - Literature

>>7157348
a lovely journey some wonderful moments
>cream dividers quiet hum
really nice

>>7157106
if your white this isn't really appopriate butits pretty gud tbh would read a longer piece
was "twas was" a typo because i kind of like it

>>7157083
o good lord

>>7156235
>sausaged into an armoured superman corset
fucking brilliant i love this so much
the rest is hit and miss, way too much word soup, the mythological references are pretty bland and don't suggest anything but that one sentence is really promising

>>7155716
everything about the worm being put in his dick is really good stuff, its pulpy and weird and creepy, reads like something from Barker. but definitely, definitely remove:
> This was too horrifying to be a just a nightmare
that's such a weak ending and the word "horrifying" in a horror story is so cringey. and it being nightmare like is also insanely cliche. this guy also wouldn't be thinking something like that
the other two paragraphs are too fast paced, need to set the mood brah.the description of the baddies are too descriptive of specific things. you need to convey their general presence in terms of threat and uncanniness not specific pieces of their outfit
overall promising