/lit/ - Literature

>>19393734
>>19393766
Yes, usually I collect my blurby in two sheets of folded toilet paper. But that’s only when I know I’m going to commit to the act. Usually, though, the urge comes unexpectedly. Morning wood or showering tends to do the trick. Probably cause my own nakedness arouses me. I think this naturally tends to develop once you’ve had some partners. As opposed to masturbation, sex is usually butt naked. Like Pavlov’s dog, your mind will make a connection once your nakedness will turn you on. Thanks to this, I never watch porn, I just think of this lady I once saw in a dream where I was at a friend’s house and got the key to his shed. I ran into his mother who was just going to the basement. She was glad she bumped into me, cause she needed the same key to open the basement door. I went with her and opened it for her, in my dream I somehow instinctually knew she was going there to masturbate, so I asked her, ever so nervously yet with sly confidence, if she needed some help. She obliged and I melted into her on the coutch, each kiss filling more real than the last. I’ve been using this fantasy ever since.
After I’ve filled the nappy I push the last little blubby out by pinching the base and squeezing upwards like an almost empty toothpaste tube. Because — it is such a small amount, I’m too lazy to clean it with the already filled toilet paper, it tends to drip on the floor during my trip to the bathroom. — I eat it.
This hardly has sexual connotation, rather a practical one. I do it all the time as well; like picking my nose, eating my fingernails and the dirt underneath it, my scabs, my bed-crumbs, my earwax and these little, weird, loose skins inside of my ear-shell. You must think by reading this that I’m some lazy, nasty neet. I just want you to know, your neighbour, teacher, dad, maybe even grandpa might be doing it as well. By all standards, I’m a clean person. I just do it in private, like everyone. I just see it as stuff from my own body, and apart from the fingernail dirt, nothing on this list is inherently filthy or potentially sickening unlike other bodily excrementations.
Once I’ve finished barfing the worm, though. When the woody subsides, there’s always a little pinchy whinchy left. I don’t have to tell you what happens with that as well, given that by this point I’m far away from any hygienical luxuries. The way I do it, is that I stick my finger underneath the foreskin of my flaccid dick and start swishing it around, making circles around my fore-skin, cum soiled, vacuumed gland. I do this several times, then like Winnie the Pooh, pluming into his honey put and I stick that finger in my mouth; then, wipe my finger off on some nearby fabric, use a new finger, as to not introduce any fabric bacteria or dust on my gland, and repeat the process until spit has replaced coomies. After which, according to my standards, I’m sufficiently cleansed.