/lit/ - Literature

Do visual novels have any merit? I was struck with an inspiring idea for a story heavily connected to art, and I want to write it as a VN. However, the current market for VNs are 99% mindless vomit-incuding hentai games and that makes me sad.

www.dropbox.com/s/uh6mpokuun5ftj1/Final_trimmed.pdf
I'm taking a screenwriting course (I've never actually taken a writing course before, in the past I've only written prose/stories as a hobby) and I've just finished the first draft of my final - it's a screenplay of a short film, not long at all. Just your impressions on how bad/good it is would be great.
I'm the guy who got feedback some other time where I complained about how my mediocre screenplay got a meager B+ (the catch being that the prof usually grades super easy), but people told me that it was indeed mediocre and I should go kill myself yada yada. Now, here's something I put my heart into. Please be brutally honest.