/lit/ - Literature

I'm tired of uploading, forsaking field limit.
Here is an url of the following of the novel.
Please feel free to criticize.
thank you.

http://shorttext.com/iK7k74W

The Djinn : Dare you steal earth's most precious steel,
the liquid that makes your blood flow still,
And may this silver soil delights your soul,
as the fresh coolness of the well's hole,
but to quench your thirst you shall pay,
for your life it saves for another day,
And this oasis is a gift of magical play,
I am the djinn, and you are the prey.


The sheperdwoman :
(falling down on her knees in terror and disbelief)

Ah! Demon indeed, I had sealed my fate,
I ask you not a minute to wait,
for I was forsaken in such a play,
that reason commends me to no longer pray.
This water was ill with the evil's hurray,
and its surface reflected an unearthly ray.
Pardon my dwells upon your land of Hell,
Djinn, it is well enough time to toll my bell.

I am still awaiting for critique upon my works, fellow friends of /lit/.
Please, you may not disappoint a virtuous friend.
As per regards, I will also make constructive critisism upon your own works. Feel free to share .