/lit/ - Literature

>PhD program in philosophy
>I go because I'm decent at philosophy, judging from grades and peers
>I just want to be given the support to hone my skills in writing a systematic philosophical treatise or other book-length works showing how all my beliefs fit together
>Instead I'm asked to be "convincing" to unsympathetic readers within 20 pages, with minimal reference to external system-building, or anything else like that, unless I can somehow "sell it" within those same 20 pages (which is impossible)
>Professors regularly give me A- grades at best but also at worst on most of my papers and even some of my classes because they know I don't suck, but I also can't meet their narrow hoopjumping standards within these short spaces so they don't give me the perfect As
>Nobody here wants to open up and show vulnerability so I just feel all alone, only to hear occasionally that someone or other is dropping out of the program suddenly
>Doesn't help when my peers tell me they think I'm smarter than them, but I constantly feel I'm in jeopardy, while they're definitely not, it makes me feel pretty awful actually
I just feel gaslighted and increasingly depressed and frustrated. I still want to get my views out but I went into academia trusting that their expertise would really help me get better, and it has, no doubt, but the amount of hoopjumping and gaslighting is insufferable. Why can't they just help me do what I want, why do they force me to fit some narrow mold?

>>18736056
Sometimes /lit/ anons advertise servers, but then they say they're doing a Guenon reading group, or you see the server image, or if you make it in see the emotes (usually like 20 pepes and twitter-tier reactions), and you realize 4chan is not the place to make friends in, because they're all basic, they're like paper cut-outs and not real people. /lit/ does have interesting discussions with good effortposts but most of the people on this entire site are really dumb and carbon copies of everybody else, but they think they're The Resistance or something funny like that.