/lit/ - Literature

>this gets published while you languish in obscurity

Explain yourself, Anon.

Should I get this, /lit/?

This got published. What's YOUR excuse?

Well, /lit/?

>>8958149
>The blurb only covers the first 50 pages or so.

>It opens with the mom calls the chef to say "Your sister has joined ISIS." Sister hires the vampire-Viking-van-angel as a private investigator but then insists on coming with him to the ranch while he fetches her sister. They arrive, demon-vampire things attack, and the dude randomly teleports them to the 10th century.

>The next 90% of the book is in the 10th century. The Viking is conveniently recognized as the lord of the castle they teleported to, despite being gone for years and having lost hundreds of pounds in the interim. Chef lady is shoved in the kitchen where she teaches Vikings that bread exists despite them already knowing that. There is a Twilight-esque theme where every 2-5 pages one of the pair mentions that the other smells like peppermint and coconut. Literally every couple pages. There's some love triangle with his ex-fiancee that goes nowhere, and the section in the 10th century culminates with him walking in on the chef sleeping, stripping naked, and jerking off on her while she sleeps because she's just too pretty. They teleport back to modern day to find out that the sister had already left the ranch and was never in danger, and the Viking has 6 brothers that will help take out the cult. The Viking goes on a rant on how Political Correctness is how ISIS can recruit in America, he marries the chef, and the book ends.

>Oh, and there's Nazis running around doing shit, too.

>>8645092
Umm try again sweetie... :)

wtf i love ISIS now