/lit/ - Literature

been avoiding doing much drinking since new years but yesterday I pushed my luck and had a measly 10 or so beers. didn't even get overly drunk or anything obviously, but today im weak and fucked up and my heart is once again going wild for the first time since i stopped drinking a lot. i dont think there's any question now that alcohol is the trigger for some pretty severe issues.

seems like it may be genuinely over for me and lady liquor. im estimating that i can do maybe like a 6 pack at most before i have problems.at least i can enjoy a few beers on a summers day. but no more binge drinking.

should be interesting i guess. since i was like 15 drinking has defined my life in many ways, with my friendships being not the least of those ways. its hard to imagine going and spending a night with friends and not binge drinking, which is kinda sad i guess. perhaps if i get my health in check things will improve, but who knows.

ive made a lot of progress over the last two weeks and I hope to stick with it this time, as there is no longer anything to go back to. holy shit though, does it ever hurt to look back on the last 12 years, all thrown away for nothing, my best years just gone in the blink of an eye, all I can think is "what the hell happened and how did It get this bad?" and now I have less than nothing. a grueling uphill struggle right from past the bottom of the hill. Theres nothing to go back to now though. if I let go again, its over for me. If I let go again theres nothing but death.

>>18971348
This is true