/lit/ - Literature

>>13939108
I'm black.
It's something borne out of frustration from talking to many sides on the incel issue.
Keep in mind that although i'm a sexually frustrated and bitter virgin, I no longer call myself an incel because of the cavalier moral conclusions and practices from other self proclaimed incels. The other reason is the resultant connotation between being an incel and being reactionary, something I lament but completely understand.

I sympathize with incels, even the ones as criminally deviant as Elliot Rodger, but the lot of them are operating beyond reason. I've spent a bit of time on an incel forum before getting banned for "being gay" by a 5'2" mod who confessed to raping a woman while she was unconscious. It's filled with incoherent nonsense, invalid logic leading to conclusions which involves killing yourself and others (often both), and terrible fucking dogwhistles. Do you know what "going ER" means? Hint: it has nothing to do with the emergency room. I believe that a great first step in improving your (in this case mental) condition is to find others who are suffering likewise, but I plan on improving my self esteem and confidence as well.

Looking for support elsewhere is difficult. The first challenge is to find someone who doesn't share this dilemma who actually cares. The hard truth is that there are much worse issues to worry about. With political instability following climate change inevitable, it makes sense to not want to allot time for lonely 20 something virgins for instance. I still believe that the incel phenomenon is important, as it is my struggle but also an anomaly borne out in data (we are fucking less). However it's important to be realistic with people's time.

Finding sensible people who care is great until you realize that the advice they give feels not only antiquated, but also contradictory. Telling these suffers to follow an assortment of rules for courtship, but also act naturally. Or that losing your virginity isn't a big deal, but it's also a vital step in maturity and a formative experience every teenager ought to have. Alot of this advice seems to presuppose that the suffer is a literal NEET/shut in. As someone who is more than reasonably social (work, school, hobbies with friends), is it out of line for me and others likewise to ask for a better prescription?

I'm left because I have issues with certain hierarchies, however this has soured my expectations of identity politics. The fact of the matter is that everyone's sexual history is incredibly different. My inabilities stem from a destroyed self esteem due to a history of physical abuse and ASD. I was talking to another black, lonely, leftist, (he doesn't call himself an incel either) whose issues are borne out of Sexual OCD, something I have never experienced.

I have no idea how to even begin to solve this. The best I can do is challenge the notion that losing your virginity when you're young is some sort of success.