/lit/ - Literature

>>12920538
It's half-true. It doesn't matter so much whether it's true as whether I feel it's true. The money "came" from three places, all of which are disgraceful ways to get money. Even if I type it in Japanese I bet someone else here could read it, sorry for not being specific. I wanted to have a job right now but I couldn't get one since I quit my last one, so the lie is that it's intentional time off, but I'm also not trying particularly hard to get one. Which is also awful of me. Most of my strategy is closing my eyes and wishing for someone to save me, and then finding myself in extreme positions. I think I'm fundamentally incapable of holding an honest job.

My primary issue is that I'm overwhelmingly lazy, incompetent, and dysfunctional. I'm avoidant, I drift around aimlessly and all my years of struggle have only dug my hole deeper. And there are "rocks" stacked above my head--I'm on a time limit of sorts due to financial constraints. How I'm going to make up the money will be another borderline-suicidal, extreme action on my part. If I can sell a manuscript I might save myself, I'm just not counting on having that kind of luck. I'm in the US, yes.

Thank you for your explanation, I see what you're saying now. Sorry if my post is phrased strangely, I didn't get enough sleep. Also sorry to have made you read that, it really needs an edit, but I need to get a full night of sleep first. I don't know what's wrong with me. On the re-read it's not terrible in terms of raw material but it needs a good cleaning for sure. I definitely understand how it's disjointed.
>Dazai's mastery of delivering raw honest emotion in clear writing is part of his charm.
Yes, I see what you are saying. Thank you for your post. Your coffee journal sounds very charming.

>>12817804
>thread title