/lit/ - Literature

I liked this story a lot and I'm looking forward to book 2. Comments below.

[1] You start in the past and move towards the present avoiding flashbacks. I hated cheap flashbacks in God of Highschool and your method fixes that. Easy to follow.

[2] There is a large cast of characters and you're focusing on all of them. I like this idea of there not being a main character. Makes the world you're building feel bigger and lived in. Wasn't expecting this story to focus on Miyen. Too early to know if Layka is overreacting. Maybe Starfall SHOULD wilt. It would be nice if their friendship gets salvaged, they have nice chemistry.

[3] Zone is racist, but his father Tonari is the bigger racist. Zone was an impressionable kid who wants to become just like his dad. I appreciate you didn't vilify either of them. Zone did nothing wrong, protecting his sister from potential creeps. Reasonable behavior for a brother.

>>20116687
[4] Characters aren't always the same person they are in a given book, so I'm going to guess in the dark here and say this version of Miyen is Miyen from another Thread? I wonder which one? Not Thread 2, because that Miyen is a bunny girl masquerading as a human.

[5] Wait, does that mean characters from one Thread, who are protagonists, could be antagonists if they're from another Thread? If you're writing this from a multiverse angle, there's a lot of potential here with the characters you're establishing.

>>20116461
>a legacy of isekai-loving weebs
[6] I'm assuming travel between the Threads is going to be a focal point eventually. Casid mentioned the Tapestry, Layka mentioned wanting to explore the cosmos with him. So this is your isekai angle, eh? I'm guessing the isekai protagonist hasn't been revealed yet (It's probably Casid and/or Layka by the looks of it), but it was hinted at because this whole story takes place in Thread 2. Logically, there must be a Thread 1. Otherwise you would have referred to this as Thread 1, but opted for Thread 2. I like what you implied here without explaining it outright.

[7] Weaving is your magic system on this world, by the sound of it. The way you use weaving as a verb reminds me of element bending with ATLA.

[8] Cosmic Tapestry of Astral Strings. Heh, this is a play on String Theory, isn't it? That would make the Tapestry your multiverse, and each Thread is a universe within it, probably.

[9] Miyen is hyperactive and annoying, but I kind of like her. The design also looks like a blatant copy of Mako from Kill La Kill and I'm okay with this! Tell me she's not inspired by her. You know I'm right. Then again, I love pretty much every one of studio Trigger's works, so maybe that's why Myrefly gels with me. Feels like more of the same.

I love obsessing of writing, world building, and lore. You gonna start a blog or something? I guess I could keep looking for you on the boards. Keep it up, man!