/lit/ - Literature

>>4746262
As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a Eurofag. He was lying on his bony, as it were effeminate, back and when he lifted his head a little he could see that he was wearing designer silk Prada G-string underwear which was slippery due to the fact that he was covered in K-Y jelly and Baby Oil, and was so uncomfortable that he was about to slide off the bed completely.

What has happened to me? he thought. It was no dream. His early-20th-century Central European bedroom was authentically minimalist, perhaps too much so. Above the simple minimalist table on which a collection of cloth samples was unpacked and spread out -- Samsa was a commercial traveler -- hung the picture of a lady with a fur cap on.

"Fur is murder!" Gregor heard himself blurt out, but he did not even understand its meaning. And again: "Fur is beautiful on animals but ugly on humans!" and "Would you wear your dog?" and "Give fur the cold shoulder!" The voice was his, as were the thoughts -- only the meaning escaped him.

Jesus. He wasn't to grieve for long, however, for moments later a bronze chariot led by a team of sun bears sped across the sea. They slowed as they approached land and began to insult Jesus from across the swells: "Go back to California, hippy!" "Who cuts your hair...your mom?" Jesus couldn't hold it in, his smile grew until he burst into laughter "Oh you guys, you know how to cheer me up! Come on, let's grab something to eat". And they did

>>3476575
Well done, that's actually quite good

Not nearly my favourite actor, but imagine Michael Cera as Jesus.

Actually, scratch that. Imagine him playing any literary character that isn't an autist. Fuck I would pay to see that.

I hate you for using 'qt p2ts' but also love you for it at the same time.

>>3429311
If this double-entendre is intentional, well done.

>>3415001
An intellectual with a proclivity for garments fashioned from the skin of the bovine family.

"Time to throw the towel in"
-Tao Lin

>>3234071
I'm counting on it, OP. Every day I eat a bowl of chicken soup that hasn't cooled down completely (according to my mom anyway) and it burns my mouth a bit so that I have to drink at least 3 cups of water to stop the pain.

If I can continue this daily regimen of suffering, I should become Jesus Christ in about two and half weeks

>>3223203
>>3223213
>>3223240
>>3223325
>>3223337
>>3225418
>>3225543
Fucking newfags. It's pretty much the stock standard response every time one of these stupid "casual" threads rears its ugly head.

When it starts to rain, I get my Tao Lin;
across my shoulders, over my quivering bosom,
come warmth, come sleep, come sweet bliss.

I love my Tao L.

I'm looking to study in Berlin next year but I need to be somewhat proficient in German in to do so. Best methods/resources for learning German quickly?

yes it's not exactly /lit/ related but shut up

Stirner and/or Diogenes