/lit/ - Literature

>>22521714
bad wording, not very enticing to read, lacking a bait for the reader to swallow and continue reading.
It's very obvious that you are trying to sentence-craft without actually knowing the basics of english. Try writing shorter stories with a clear premise and improve in this way.
I will not read any further untill your language changes to something more refined, without the unnecesary periods and with some clearly interesting concept.

You can throw names like "Daamian" or "The forest planet Daamis IV" but they are not interesting concepts because the reader doesn't care about them and you didn't make them care.