/lit/ - Literature

>>19822932
ogey. Here's something I threw together in an hour, with minor editing:

It was that time in the summer when you could feel the sun’s weight long after it had fallen over the edge of the world. Betty had left a few windows open the night after her air conditioner burnt out, and in doing so let in a night pygmy along with the draft. In the morning she went into the kitchen to make some iced tea and caught sight of the pygmy as it was sprinting behind the refrigerator. Night Pygmies ate the good dreams of sleeping girls and laid bad ones into the ear canal. They would sometimes steal fingernails too. Sleep throwing itself from her eyes, she grabbed the phone beside the kitchen door and started dialing.
An hour later Alphonse showed up with his circular pygmy-saw. Betty showed him the refrigerator where the mannikin was still hiding. A yank of the cord, a squeeze of the trigger, and the pygmy-saw was on.
“It’s loud,” she said, plugging her ears with her fingers.
“What?”
“I said it’s very loud!”
He let go of the trigger and the sawblade slowed to a standstill.
“What was that?” he said.
“I said it was very loud.”
“Oh yeah, it’s supposed to be. It helps with hunting pygmies.”
“Why is that?”
“Loud noises remind them of church bells, and church bells make them think about god, and thinking about god fills them with crippling guilt.”
He turned the saw on again and the noise addled Betty grabbed one of the bottom corners of the fridge. Alphonse signaled her with the point of a finger and she pulled the refrigerator away from the wall.
Now in the open, the pygmy came towards Alphonse, clicking aggressively. The first saw swing missed and the second nicked the kitchen floor, scattering tiles and loosing the sawblade free from the rest of the contraption. The serrated disk ricocheted off two walls and flew into Betty, bisecting her horizontally along the abdomen. The pygmy disappeared into the dining room.
Betty's top and bottom stuck back together with an easy click, but all Alphonse could find to dress the seam that ran across her navel were a bunch of old hello kitty band-aids in her drug cabinet. They made a neat line across the wound, each a couple inches a part.
Unfortunately the saw didn’t fare nearly as well. The blade had bent into uselessness after colliding with Betty’s panini press, and the joint where the blade was meant to attach to the rest of the device had shattered when the saw made contact with the floor. Alphonse would have to get it fixed, and she would just have to live with the pygmy for the night.
She went to bed that evening with ear plugs and rubber gloves. She dreamt of nothing and woke with a pyramid pile of nightmare pellets on the side of her head.

>>19798078
I did not expect these cute little animals to be such deranged little lunatics, but I love them dearly.