/lit/ - Literature

>>19610199
Happy birthday anon

(1/2)
I just want to be left alone in my own seclusion at this point, it'd been very clear early on in my life that I will never be loved nor I will be liked. My parents have no love for me, their separation when I was a child is enough that I, their only son, isn't much of a force to strenghten the bonds of familial unity. Not to mention how throughout the years they have become indifferent towards me. Mother immediately found a surrogate for my Father months after their separation and goes on to find a surrogate for me by giving birth to another offspring, Father did the same thing a decade later with another woman.
My relatives whom they left me to ever since I was the age of three is very hateful towards me, even when I was young I remember them saying things that would make me feel bad as a child. It's very funny how they tell me that I should be thankful of my life because it only shows how myopic they are, how they are incapable of seeing things pass beyond what is material. They should've acted on what they said to me by kicking me out years ago, but no, they still have hopes that one day I may benefit them by reducing myself to a money-making machine that's why their hellbent on sending me to college despite me telling them that I should first figure things out.
None of the activities or interests I take part in makes them proud nor makes them happy at the very least simply because I don't profit from it. Whenever I pass by them while their watching the television and some commercial for a reality show audition shows up they would quickly go on about how I should join, how I should take a shot with my looks, they would say something alone the lines of: "Anon you should try to join this reality show, you got a proportional face, you're fair-skinned, you got all the qualities that they were looking for! We would support you for this!", little did they know that saying those things make me feel like a manwhore. But when I open up that I have prospects for doing X, when I tell them that I'd like to go to a doctor to get something checked they would simply neglect me. Hell, even what I do for them often gets overlooked.
And how about friends? Well, after the last year of high school back in 2019 everybody parted ways. It's one of those things that makes me regret going to high school, that gives me the thoughts that I should've did whatever I want instead of going to high school and maybe get my GED afterwards. All those years making and maintaining frieds just to go down the drain. I'd suspected it even before high school ends, I asked them that maybe they can go to the gym with me, you know, improve themselves, I'll help them with the basics and yada yada but they would always come up with some excuse.

You are so lucky to have friends

these are all i have