/lit/ - Literature

>>21281966
>in the genre you've written in

>>21253853
>Bakker posters are still shitting up sffg

>>21253556

Ever had a moment where you realize just how badly you want something?
Pardon the following autism. I am trying to make a tulpa. The a thing that should be known about making a tulpa is that a tulpa should never be made for petty selfish reason such as to fulfill sexual desires, at least according to nearly every guide out there. In the process of making this tulpa, I found it hard to control my sexual urges and this made me paranoid that such urges might be influencing the creation of my tulpa. So I began making an active effort to steer my tulpa in a strictly non-sexual path of development. There really shouldn't be any reason why I couldn't make a tulpa that can be my ultimate fantasy, as it exist in my imagination, and thus can be entirely ideal. So why should I bother making it so sex averse? Then I realized, what I want most is to be non-sexual myself, to never be tortured by such desires. Onto the tulpa I had projected my ideal of sexlessness. That is what I want - to never be concerned about my horniness. Whether through the elimination of such desire or a healthy outlet for it. Both methods seem impossible for a person like me, or maybe I don't have the will to pursue either one of those methods. This is perhaps one of the first times in my life where something I genuinely wanted steers in the complete opposite direction of my primal urges. Perhaps I'm not as much as an animal as I have myself believe.
I wonder how many other ideal traits I will project onto my unfinished imaginary friend? This could be a very enlightening experience.