/lit/ - Literature

>>9269825
this is pretty good, but there's a lot of grammar mistakes. in the first line, you're hyphenating wrong, it should be *blurry-eyed, *candlelight, and probably *carved rock. for the dialogue, i'd pick someone whose dialogue you like and try to copy the way they format it, because yours is all over the place. the dialogue in this is waaaay better than the MaMaMaMa before