/lit/ - Literature

>>19982530
Good point.
Apologies for ant text

>>19982540
I might've swapped some periods with commas. On line three I'd end each sentence with a ! since he's shouting, and slapping doesn't sound quite like what you do to a horse as opposed to whipping, even if just by hand.

In conversations I try to switch around how I refer to characters, not awlays go "Johnny said to Mary, and she answered to Johnny", and instead "Johnny said to his friend, and Mary answered back with a glance at the boy". -5 points for making the orcs not the cool guys.