/lit/ - Literature

I read Nietzsche's Genealogy of Morals, and along with my inability to think of God besides in a purely intellectual manner (whom I believe exists, although not particularly the Christian god), I have lost the ability to be religious (i.e to follow a church's dogma and worship the divine). The problem is that I *want* to be religious because I know it'd be better for my life and I miss being genuinely in touch with the supernatural.
I want to become Christian again, preferably Catholic. I've been recommended The Drama of Atheist Humanism by de Lubac and After Virtue by MacIntyre, but I've heard those have their own problems in their ideas.
What do I do? How do I connect with God when I am fine with living on Earth? What if I don't want to go to heaven? What if I am fine with ceasing to exist upon death? What if I have no desire in mysticism or interacting with the spiritual realm? I don't want to fake being religious. I want to be genuinely Christian again bros.