/lit/ - Literature

>>20609192
Chinaman / Chinamen
Thoughts:
First glance - writing appearsadequate, grammar and sentence-structurewise.
Maybe it's just because Ifinished Sot-Weed Factor,but I'm getting "mis-voyage toAmerica" vibes.
Why do you introduce so many people in the into to chapter 3?
3 kindadrags whenintroducingMontgomery then Horace. Feels like we've had enough intros.
Maybe slow down and space out.
Chapter 4 starts - Finally, some tension and char moments
You don't need more characters, you need more moments (cooking chicken / fights) with the characters you already have.
Call to Kansas? I'm from Kansas and I haven't heard that one.
Too big a discount for buying a dozen eggs. 33% off?
Pacing is a bit frantic, always a new scene, new character.
Liked theriot.
What race is montgomery?
So much on the chicken plot after the first few chapters raced through different locations. Would like to slow down more.
Chicken farming is just something I cannot identitywith or relate to, except when they are cooking or eating chicken.
Some of the characters disclosures seem too intimatefor new acquaintances(such as Madame Toy's)
Did Hutch give money or just fan out?
Hope we find outwhat's going on with Mongomery and Liz
A countryof individuals. That’s America, - I truly like this line. So quotable. Damn good.
What was the paper? So damn cryptic sometimes.
Christian unity at the end was uplifting.