/lit/ - Literature

He used to be one of my best friends until my later 20ies. I used to think of him as a great father who did a lot rather well and raised us well for a long time.
However I surpressed what I also knew, that he failed as a father, that he didn't teach us boys how to be a man and that I had to look these aspects of growing up in the internet. Artofmanliness, pua forums, movies in general, oh my.
A lot of the values and goals he instilled in us have been rather destructive in our lifes. I realised that rather late, that the stories he told us with these values were outright wrong and didn't happen. The only useful advices were the ones he had experienced themselves, otherwise he has been an unreliabale narrator.
Sadly a lot of bad times in my life are directly and indirectly due to my father's decisions, even though I was the one wo made the decision rather freely. When you grow you are being given a hand you can play and the cards are very much influenced by your parent's actions, even if you thin
When I look at other people in my peer group I usually see equal or worse fathers were the sons had worse cards and had similiar problems.
That wasn't what destroyed the relationship, however. Mistakes happen and he did a lot of good things, so I don't hate him for what happened in my life, I just cannot exclude his influence.

The cut was when I lost all of my respect for him when I started to spend more time with him. All he does is watching TV and eating. There is no incentive in him to change anything in his life. I am ashamed of him, I don't want other people to see him and I don't really look into his eyes anymore. He doesn't have Alzheimers or is sick. Talking to him is nothing I enjoy anymore, especially since I cannot take his advices serious - they have been usually based on a fantasy in his mind he deemed true and created more problems.
A son should never despise his father and I think everyday where it went so wrong. I used to think that my life was great, that my family was fantastic and that I should be happy. The last few years have been a great deconstruction of all of it and it saddens me. The good thing is that it instilled me to become a great father, I want to make it better and grow up good, happy, well-adjusted and happy children.

>>16186060
Anon, don't bother. There are assholes that like to cause a scene here, just like in real life. You don't seem like a narcicisst.