/lit/ - Literature

>>6107473

I go between indifference and mild dislike.

I find I have a more positive view on living while undergoing mental or physical pain.

I'm torn over the concept of the self, could someone please help me understand?

Recently I read 'Demian' By Hesse, and it told the story of someone getting to know the self, to refine it, to cultivate it and to make it grow. I also just started reading Marcus Aurelius and he speaks of 'worshiping' the 'deity' within.

I can appreciate, but not fully understand, this view on the self.

I have read quite a bit of mystical and theistic literature and much of it speaks of the self being an illusion to be overcome, or a prison to be destroyed. In 'Demian', did the protagonist not just end up being enslaved by the self? He wore its halter, followed it's commands, and was left entirely in its hands. He did its bidding and was encouraged to do so by his spiritual guides, but this left him without a will of his own, it consumed him.

I am torn between wanting to improve and refine the self and wanting to annihilate it, as I see the benefits of both. Could it be that I have misunderstood the concept of the self or maybe misinterpreted the books?