/lit/ - Literature

>>21039540
Never, anon. Please don't do this to yourself. You have to keep quiet about it. Maybe if the girl is open about her interest into anime and related topics you could tell her you like vtubers, but I guarantee you 9/10 times mentioning you like vtubers is a hoe repellant.

When I was in my mid teens, my older sister, who was in her late teens, would often ask me if I wanted to go clubbing with her friends. Back then I was an acne-riddled sperg with social anxiety so bad I always hid my face in my hoodie. I don't know what she was trying to accomplish when she kept asking me if I wanted to go to a club when I couldn't even look at my teachers during lectures. She knew I had social anxiety as well. Nowadays my social anxiety is quite manageable, I just don't socialize much because I'm a loner by nature, and I definitely wouldn't go to club because of my disdain towards such decadency, but in retrospect I wish I had gone once, even if it may have been terribly embarrassing. Maybe I wasn't all that ugly as I was led to believe as a teen and she thought I would genuinely enjoy my time at a club. I don't think she knew that clubs were just a scam to get single men to waste their money on overpriced drinks trying to pick up girls. She wasn't even old enough to drink when she still went clubbing. Even if I had gone to a club, I probably would've hated it and regretted it anyways. I'm not one for loud music, dancing, and drugs, and I probably would've been the youngest person in the club. I know most parents wouldn't let their kids go clubbing before their adulthood. My parents were divorced and my mom stopped caring by the time I was in my late teens. Looking back I had a lot of freedom that other teens didn't have. I probably could've just driven off one day and my mom wouldn't care as long as she thought I was still going to school. I didn't do anything with that freedom except for staying up until 3:00 am every night playing Victoria 2. Perhaps it's not a bad thing I wasted my freedom on such a boring thing. Usually kids who get neglected turn out to be criminals or whatever. I still do the same things I did when I was 17, but with a different games and I go to bed early enough to get up for college classes in the morning. Often, I wish to mix up my life a bit, but I can't think of anything I would really like to do other than just read, write, listen to music, and play video games in my free time. It doesn't take a lot to keep me happy. I am the wealthiest man in the world. I just wish I wasn't so lonely. Maybe if I went clubbing back then I wouldn't be so lonely now.

If someone really wants something, they will try to get it. If someone really wants to do something, they will try to do it. When people do things they supposedly "don't want to do" out of their own volition, they are just not being honest with themselves about what they want. Of course, many people have conflicting desires. Whichever desire in conflict is the strongest is the one that will take hold. Take masturbation for example. Many people say they want to stop masturbating. Yet they continue to masturbate anyways. This is because their desire to masturbate at a specific moment outweighs any desire to stop masturbating. Unless the shame of being a masturbator begins to outweigh their impulses or if they are put in a position where they can no longer masturbate, they will continue to masturbate. A similar thing can be seen in drug addictions. People who quit cold turkey are more likely to successfully break an addiction. The reason for this is because they had reached a breaking point where their genuine desire to quit the substance abuse will overpower any urge they feel to use the substance. This can be seen in women who quit alcohol and cigarettes due to pregnancy - their desire for a healthy baby will permanently overcome any impulses to partake in those behaviors.
When one practices discipline or uses willpower to force themselves to do something they supposedly don't want to do, it is that action is still one that the person wants to do, but rather than being motivated by base impulses they are instead consciously forcing themselves to pursue that act because they want the outcome of that act.
Negative stimuli can also suppress any desired actions. A man may not rape because the possible consequences of rape outweigh any pleasure he may gain from the rape. Similarly one may not pursue their hobbies or interests because they may feel social judgement for doing such things. It is only when the negative stimuli is lessened or the motivating desire is strengthened that leads to someone committing an act despite that bad stimulus.
This may not be news to anyone here, but I feel that understanding one's desires is a key component of success and self-control. I was never honest with myself about what I want until recently and upon realizing that I found myself much more motivated to do what I wanted. If I really wanted to achieve my dream, I would try to do it despite any negative stimuli. And I do really want to achieve my dream, so I am going to do it. I'll remember you guys when I make it.