/lit/ - Literature

>>18929475
I haven't had any significant contact with the opposite sex since two years ago. I always avoid pursuing my desire because of fear if I come off as a creep. Therefore I stay at the sidelines. I remember feeling bad when my crush was obviously getting hit on by another guy. I wonder why I suppress my feelings, looking happy, doing creative stuff. Fear of rejection, of initiating contact, connecting, perhaps I am a bad person. I feel alienated. Last saturday this girl gave me a tarot read. The outcome was perhaps positive. I have been thinking about her. We only talked for about 30 minutes. I know her name. I probably won't approach her. She lives in my old college town. I am like a fly circling around shit. I don't know how to deal with these feelings, I feel happy for these emotions. I am not sure if at this current age is normal to want to fuck people or if I am being a creep for wanting human contact.