/lit/ - Literature

>>23369492
Anon I wish it was as easy as that. Unfortunately if you're a sperg elsewhere you'll be a sperg in Mormonism. There were some amazingly cute girls at church when I was growing up and I fumbled them all, and the percentage who are still single drops precipitously after you get out of the 18-22 age bracket.
Now that I don't believe in it anymore I can't betray my own values by pretending to believe again, even if it would greatly improve my chances of meeting someone. Like, yeah, if I had never left I'd maybe be married right now, but I just can't bring myself to act like the whole thing is true when it's not.
There's also a lot of weird internal pressures in Mormonism but they don't make a whole lot of sense to outsiders. It's stuff like the way more senior positions at your church are handed out, the social dynamics of returned missionaries who went overseas vs returned missionaries who went stateside, the dynamics between SLC-area Mormons and Rexburg-area Mormons and Arizona Mormons and people from elsewhere who aren't quite lower castes or second class citizens but subtly get treated as such, pressure to have kids early, the weirdly scrupulous approach to sin and guilt in Mormonism that makes people fear for their souls after accidentally consuming something coffee-flavored, a lot more I'm leaving out. It doesn't sound like anything serious but that kind of pressure gets to people after a while, especially if one spouse is a true believer and the other isn't.

I've been anhedonic since i had my depressive episode in 2012. The last time i actually felt happiness was 12 years ago, a month before the episode.
Sicne then i finished my bachelor and master's in biomedical research, and i always wanted to do a PhD, but i just cant dredge up the motivation for a 4 year+ project. I occasionally get these moments of passion and motivation but it just burns out too quickly, and i honestly don't know what to do.

A year or two ago I lost the ability to strongly distinguish between dreams and reality. Events that occurred in dreams return to me as memories. The only way I can determine what really happened and what happened in my head is by the discontinuity between a dream event and a waking event. As a consequence I've become agnostic about the reality of what I'm experiencing. It could be real, so I play along. It could be unreal, so I don't take it too seriously.
The person I am in a dream and the person I am while waking are very similar, but at times they will act very differently, sometimes distressingly so. In dreams I've done things that shook me on waking, and the uncertain boundary between the two is the fuel for a quiet fear of myself.
I'm still functional. I have a job. I have a social life. If I get too serious about all of this and allow it to affect me, I'll slip and maybe not get back up again.

>>23262879

>>23240475
It was a textbook for teenage university students in Kant's time. I have no idea what the fuck you're trying to say here.
>>23240483
There's no one work of metaphysics which could be conclusively called "true" in the sense that 1+1=2 would be if that's what you're looking for. You'll have to read a bit of everything and come to your own conclusions or accept those of others.

I ate 1500 kcal of chocolate today, and i'm on a cut

>>22354824

>>22338165
>by the population via vote on the internet

>>22220262
Yeah, why would you unless you were some autist or something

You aren't autistic, are you anon?

>>21483905
Pleased to meet you

The time finally came
I'm writing the best chapter in my book; my favourite chapter
but it's also the longest chapter in the whole book
and it contains so much compressed information that every sentence has to tell 3 different things at the same time to fit all of it inside
all on its own it contains a plot expansive enough to make a full-length movie
Structuring and arranging this is gonna be a bitch
oh boy

>tfw extremely bitter and filled with hate against the world
>tfw this turns me despondent and frigid
is there any way i can turn this dislike for the world into something more productive?