/lit/ - Literature

I suppose I may as well post something. These are a few lines I jotted down in the journal I was given after getting out of bed earlier.

"I lie and stare at your neck in bed
that melts for my kiss
And too holds rigid,
Against the bashing of fists
and replayed chokings.
The forked tongue tip
that drips two dreams,
Of 80 year old porch scenes
and of corpses."

Please tear them apart. It annoys me to read the stuff back as I know it doesn't capture what I was meaning to say at all and instead looks clumsy and muddy.