/lit/ - Literature

>be attractive male hipster
>date a female hipster who thinks she's a poet because an autismLARPing chinaman, who was selected randomly by the zeitgeist which demanded a personification of new york hipster millennial pomo culture, decided that he needed quirky female sidekicks, so he uplifted her and published her ironic twitter poems about her menstrual clots
>she's pretty insufferable because of this and constantly tweets lowercase derivative livejournal sass thinking it's poetry, but whatever
>she's OK in the looks department, she has that hipster "I'm too much of a pussy to do hard drugs, but you better believe I live the hard drugs lifestyle >;-)" chic
>basically a skinnyfat basic bitch who wishes she were Daria
>date her for a few years
>go bald
>get tired of my low-paying job as assistant editor to a non-profit vegan dumpster-diving ezine
>suddenly she hits her mid/late 20s
>her skinnyfat transmutes into saggy trash, the freebie femininity and perkiness of youth fleeing her body by the day, so that all that's left is her flabby gut and saggy face and flat tits
>her ass starts looking like a lazyboy armrest that mike tyson punched six thousand times until it permanently deformed and now just loosely hangs off the frame of the chair
>she keeps tweeting fucking sassy remarks
>grit my teeth and check her twitter once every few weeks
>notice she's getting fewer and fewer "likes" for her tweets, as people are forgetting who she is, and drifting to the younger versions of her
>wonder if she notices this
>practically see her asexually now, can barely muster the enthusiasm to let her blow me
>try to just be nice and treat her like a roommate or a sister or something
>ask her to go to dinner
>her soul has been rotted by ten years of thinking she's some kind of quirkster memegenius, with no one telling her otherwise
>"hehe dinner? >:p how about i smoke this BONG and take a SHIT in the bathtub instead?"
>she rolls up her pant legs to show me for the tenth time today that she isn't shaving her legs
>see that she's drawn more lowercase sassy tumblr tattoos onto herself
>feel bad for her
>act surprised and proud of her for being suck a quirky ironic feminism
>buy her some more weed so she'll just leave me alone
>enter the bathroom hours later
>for one brief, shining moment experience happiness, as i see the tub is filled with blood and she's unconscious
>for one brief moment i feel my youth return to me and the possibilities of life open up again before me
>she stirs
>turns out she didn't slit her wrists, she was just free-bleeding into the tub for 2 hours
>tfw she makes me pose for instagram selfies with her

>be attractive male hipster
>date a female hipster who thinks she's a poet because an autismLARPing chinaman, who was selected randomly by the zeitgeist which demanded a personification of new york hipster millennial pomo culture, decided that he needed quirky female sidekicks, so he uplifted her and published her ironic twitter poems about her menstrual clots
>she's pretty insufferable because of this and constantly tweets lowercase derivative livejournal sass thinking it's poetry, but whatever
>she's OK in the looks department, she has that hipster "I'm too much of a pussy to do hard drugs, but you better believe I live the hard drugs lifestyle >;-)" chic
>basically a skinnyfat basic bitch who wishes she were Daria
>date her for a few years
>go bald
>get tired of my low-paying job as assistant editor to a non-profit vegan dumpster-diving ezine
>suddenly she hits her mid/late 20s
>her skinnyfat transmutes into saggy trash, the freebie femininity and perkiness of youth fleeing her body by the day, so that all that's left is her flabby gut and saggy face and flat tits
>her ass starts looking like a lazyboy armrest that mike tyson punched six thousand times until it permanently deformed and now just loosely hangs off the frame of the chair
>she keeps tweeting fucking sassy remarks
>grit my teeth and check her twitter once every few weeks
>notice she's getting fewer and fewer "likes" for her tweets, as people are forgetting who she is, and drifting to the younger versions of her
>wonder if she notices this
>practically see her asexually now, can barely muster the enthusiasm to let her blow me
>try to just be nice and treat her like a roommate or a sister or something
>ask her to go to dinner
>her soul has been rotted by ten years of thinking she's some kind of quirkster memegenius, with no one telling her otherwise
>"hehe dinner? >:p how about i smoke this BONG and take a SHIT in the bathtub instead?"
>she rolls up her pant legs to show me for the tenth time today that she isn't shaving her legs
>see that she's drawn more lowercase sassy tumblr tattoos onto herself
>feel bad for her
>act surprised and proud of her for being suck a quirky ironic feminism
>buy her some more weed so she'll just leave me alone
>enter the bathroom hours later
>for one brief, shining moment experience happiness, as i see the tub is filled with blood and she's unconscious
>for one brief moment i feel my youth return to me and the possibilities of life open up again before me
>she stirs
>turns out she didn't slit her wrists, she was just free-bleeding into the tub for 2 hours
>tfw she makes me pose for instagram selfies with her

>be attractive male hipster
>date a female hipster who thinks she's a poet because an autismLARPing chinaman, who was selected randomly by the zeitgeist which demanded a personification of new york hipster millennial pomo culture, decided that he needed quirky female sidekicks, so he uplifted her and published her ironic twitter poems about her menstrual clots
>she's pretty insufferable because of this and constantly tweets lowercase derivative livejournal sass thinking it's poetry, but whatever
>she's OK in the looks department, she has that hipster "I'm too much of a pussy to do hard drugs, but you better believe I live the hard drugs lifestyle >;-)" chic
>basically a skinnyfat basic bitch who wishes she were Daria
>date her for a few years
>go bald
>get tired of my low-paying job as assistant editor to a non-profit vegan dumpster-diving ezine
>suddenly she hits her mid/late 20s
>her skinnyfat transmutes into saggy trash, the freebie femininity and perkiness of youth fleeing her body by the day, so that all that's left is her flabby gut and saggy face and flat tits
>her ass starts looking like a lazyboy armrest that mike tyson punched six thousand times until it permanently deformed and now just loosely hangs off the frame of the chair
>she keeps tweeting fucking sassy remarks
>grit my teeth and check her twitter once every few weeks
>notice she's getting fewer and fewer "likes" for her tweets, as people are forgetting who she is, and drifting to the younger versions of her
>wonder if she notices this
>practically see her asexually now, can barely muster the enthusiasm to let her blow me
>try to just be nice and treat her like a roommate or a sister or something
>ask her to go to dinner
>her soul has been rotted by ten years of thinking she's some kind of quirkster memegenius, with no one telling her otherwise
>"hehe dinner? >:p how about i smoke this BONG and take a SHIT in the bathtub instead?"
>she rolls up her pant legs to show me for the tenth time today that she isn't shaving her legs
>see that she's drawn more lowercase sassy tumblr tattoos onto herself
>feel bad for her
>act surprised and proud of her for being suck a quirky ironic feminism
>buy her some more weed so she'll just leave me alone
>enter the bathroom hours later
>for one brief, shining moment experience happiness, as i see the tub is filled with blood and she's unconscious
>for one brief moment i feel my youth return to me and the possibilities of life open up again before me
>she stirs
>turns out she didn't slit her wrists, she was just free-bleeding into the tub for 2 hours
>tfw she makes me pose for instagram selfies with her

>be attractive male hipster
>date a female hipster who thinks she's a poet because an autismLARPing chinaman, who was selected randomly by the zeitgeist which demanded a personification of new york hipster millennial pomo culture, decided that he needed quirky female sidekicks, so he uplifted her and published her ironic twitter poems about her menstrual clots
>she's pretty insufferable because of this and constantly tweets lowercase derivative livejournal sass thinking it's poetry, but whatever
>she's OK in the looks department, she has that hipster "I'm too much of a pussy to do hard drugs, but you better believe I live the hard drugs lifestyle >;-)" chic
>basically a skinnyfat basic bitch who wishes she were Daria
>date her for a few years
>go bald
>get tired of my low-paying job as assistant editor to a non-profit vegan dumpster-diving ezine
>suddenly she hits her mid/late 20s
>her skinnyfat transmutes into saggy trash, the freebie femininity and perkiness of youth fleeing her body by the day, so that all that's left is her flabby gut and saggy face and flat tits
>her ass starts looking like a lazyboy armrest that mike tyson punched six thousand times until it permanently deformed and now just loosely hangs off the frame of the chair
>she keeps tweeting fucking sassy remarks
>grit my teeth and check her twitter once every few weeks
>notice she's getting fewer and fewer "likes" for her tweets, as people are forgetting who she is, and drifting to the younger versions of her
>wonder if she notices this
>practically see her asexually now, can barely muster the enthusiasm to let her blow me
>try to just be nice and treat her like a roommate or a sister or something
>ask her to go to dinner
>her soul has been rotted by ten years of thinking she's some kind of quirkster memegenius, with no one telling her otherwise
>"hehe dinner? >:p how about i smoke this BONG and take a SHIT in the bathtub instead?"
>she rolls up her pant legs to show me for the tenth time today that she isn't shaving her legs
>see that she's drawn more lowercase sassy tumblr tattoos onto herself
>feel bad for her
>act surprised and proud of her for being suck a quirky ironic feminism
>buy her some more weed so she'll just leave me alone
>enter the bathroom hours later
>for one brief, shining moment experience happiness, as i see the tub is filled with blood and she's unconscious
>for one brief moment i feel my youth return to me and the possibilities of life open up again before me
>she stirs
>turns out she didn't slit her wrists, she was just free-bleeding into the tub for 2 hours
>tfw she makes me pose for instagram selfies with her