/lit/ - Literature

>>7106714
Wait... if Labour is "your" political part,
whatever that means,
you supported it through all the blairite leaders?

>>7076663
Do you mind if I share my opinion on your poem?
I presume you do not, considering "constructive" [?] criticism is suggested.

Obvious: "Lain", not "Lied".

First of all, the theme of the poem seems overly predictable to me,
but that is not necessarily a bad thing provided the narrative is not.

"My castles were built upon pillars of sand" for some reason comes across as a cliche to me.

How do you mean "time is running short"?
It seems as though you are filling the poem with sentences which sound as though they may have a meaning but do not really.

I don't like using the word "heart" ever, aside from in the description of the pulmonary organ in actuality.

The last stanza is the most interesting, I would say.
If the poem focused on the idea contained in the last 2 stanzas it would be preferable, were me.

Is that "constructive" [?] ? The word is overly vague.