/lit/ - Literature

Books for dealing with the prospect that the ultimate destination of all experience is the moments, or even days and weeks of the most terrible agony and terror beyond description or prior comprehension? I can't even pretend I feel suicidal these days because to do so would be to suggest that I believe there is any escape from suffering in death. What with the absence of any 'you' to perceive the cessation of suffering upon death, to any of us all perception is bounded between the moment of birth and the moment of death, there is nothing to be percieved outside of that so there is nowhere to escape to. Dissatisfaction and niggling unpleasantness in life I can put up with; even the thought that everything I could possibly care about or invest in is subject to decay could be spun into some kind of positive or neutral personal mythology about continual recycling and rebirth if not for the increasing likelihood that our universe will fade away into heat death with no continuing creation to justify one's present suffering. But the ever-present spectre of the terror - not of death itself but of dyING and the pain that comes with it - is torturing me day in day out at this point. To all intents and purposes time stops so that last moment is your eternity; death itself does not scare me particularly.