/lit/ - Literature

>be me
>have qt3.14 brown, book nerd gf, pic related
>she makes me do lots of boring intellectual shit like vising gallerias and going to the theatre
>worth it because the sex is great, she loves oral
>she starts hanging out with this weirdo
>he's clearly thick as shit but he's pretending to be smart to get into my gf's knickers
>I assess him and he's not a threat
>tell him he can do all the intellectual bollocks with my gf while I take care of the physical side
>things are great for a while
>I start to get suspicious that gf is having oral sex with the weirdo
>need to expose him
>gf's book club are reading Wuthering Heights and she's made weirdo join in
>Come up with a plan
>Read an online essay on Wuthering Heights so I can sound like an expert
>Go to book club
>ask weirdo to start us off
>"Wuthering Heights is a love story."
>Fell right into my trap!
>"It's not a love story," I say "It's a fucking fuck story."
>Start unloading my knowledge like an intellectual
>Awkward fatty walks in, manimal beside him and interrupts me
>Says that I'm quoting a well known essay
>Ivebeenrumbled.jpg
>gf says to fatty "Wow, you sound like an intellectual."
>Fuck this. I'm out of here.
>Call them a bunch of pseuds as I leave.