/lit/ - Literature

>>14687317
I’m a right wing asshole who struggles bowing to authority yet fails to assert himself out of fear of hurting others. My mind tells me I’m lonely. It screams at me to do something other than sit silence by myself at night. I’ve listened to it, and it lies. I meet people and it whispers: “you don’t like them, these people are below you, they don’t understand, you’re going to hurt them, you are dangerous.” Fight as much as I will yet I’ve lost every time. >>14687365
I don’t understand. Why do I crave companionship so badly if it’s something that never seems to work? Why does my mind lie to me? It feels like I’m trapped in a prison with no way out, even though I can see the light. Crawl, jump, climb as much as I will and watch it ever remain out of my reach. It’s a cruel trick which deceived me at every turn.