/lit/ - Literature

So how do I really stop procrastinating? I have tonnes of free time and want to learn more maths and programming and I know which books I want to use but I have been putting things off for months and months. Similarly with stopping all junk food and finally letting my lifting gains show.

My main hobbies are driving around feeling bad about life while drinking coffee, browsing the internet, and eating junk food. Also going for walks and feeling bad about life.

Deep down I can easily see through the bullshit. I mean productivity systems and things that are a waste of time, such as boring books or books of with trivial information. I know that manufacturing consent will be boring and could be easily summarised in ten pages. I know that the republic will be filled with trivial and fallacious nonsense that is just one out of infinitely many possible opinions about society. Yet I feel obligated to read both and God help you if you mention your dislike in public.

But there are always ten trillion people ready to tell you that you should read 100+ boring as fuck books or else you're a pleb. And so on for a million other activities. It's like mental warfare.

It's like I have a perfectly good bullshit detector and opinions about what is worthwhile but get demoralised because society wants to sell me shit ("Read those 50 books! Buy that newspaper! Go travelling or else you're dumb! Learn that foreign language!").

I did well in education until the final few years of university where I stopped putting in any effort. I stupidly picked my nearest university which now feels like being branded an idiot by society even though it's ranked in the top 150 universities in the world (it had a low standard of curriculum). And I am too autistic and ugly to pass any job interviews.

After failing yet another job interview process that had me judged solely on my extroversion and normieness while surrounded by posh normie clones and interviewed by their slightly older clones, I am tempted once again by self help. Are the below books good?

A guide to rational living
What every body is saying
How to win friends and influence people
Psycho cybernetics

I am a huge cynic and see all philosophies as unfalsifiable and all pieces of wisdom and self help as bullshit at their core. Should I just ignore all pieces of advice, all of which I would probably forget, and just lie more, speak louder, speak clearer, speak more?

>listen to will self radio 4 a point of view monologues
>he talks about the bad effects of teaching to the test
>in another he talks about thinking about philosophy as being worthwhile for therapeutic reasons and worthwhile in itself

>feel like philosophy, or to be more precise, unfalsifiable chains of reasoning about the big topics, is worthwhile
>feel happy about engaging with the transcendental, the eternally unfalsifiable

>few minutes later
>reminded of the crude realities of life
>girls only fuck Chads and I'm ugly and can't get a good job because I'm not enough of a normie and I'm told that to be a free thinking and worthwhile person I have to buy certain books and read them and praise them and massage the balls of publix intellectuals all while being HAMMERED by propaganda every fucking day...

The teaching to the test episode talked about thinking outside the box and I agree but why the fuck does he talk about therapeutics of philosophy in the most "in the box" way?

One of the uses of academic philosophy is self help snake oil. Maybe not just snake oil, but that feeling of wisdom you get from aphorisms that feel great (probably only from a literary perspective) but you soon realise they're vague bullshit.

The way philosophy is practised is ultimately its own box.

>>8989594
>Araby is going to be such an amazing marketplace
>buncha noisy bitches blabbering trying to hawk junky vases

How do I actually take advantage of all my free time and make myself work hard? For the past year it seems my main hobby is to borrow my mum's car, browse 4chan on my phone, drink tonnes of coffee and do very little work.

It just seems so fucking unbearable to imagine that I am literally paddling in the middle of an ocean of possibilities and reaching any shore will take hours and hours of painstaking paddling. And there's fog everywhere and I'm on my own.

I just feel so cucked no matter what I do. I studied applied maths today because I feel like a cuck for not knowing enough and while doing it I felt like a cuck for not doing something that would immediately lead to money. I feel cucked for sitting at home and I feel cucked being in busy places near Chad and Stacey couples.

I have never done anything outside of a structured environment. I always just follow the path given to me (though I barely did any work near the end of my degree, which was kind of freethinking of me, though mainly due to laziness). I have no patience. Everything seems either too trivial to bother with or immensely frustrating and beyond me.

What is there to do these days? It's either software or finance you are a peon. I am not ignorant. I look at who the successful famous people are. It's the same every time. Either software stuff or VC / hedge fund stuff. That's it.

I just can't be assed. I am lazy. I walked in to the computer science section of a library and saw ten trillion gigantic introductory text books, all for important topics.

People are always out to attack you if you haven't watched that movie or read that book or seen that play. It's all psychological warfare. Starbucks, Coca Cola, McDonalds, these are the most honest organisations in the world today, far ahead of all the universities. They sell you the products and you can judge them how you want and you have no further pressures. Universities are a caste branding system subsidised by the government.

How do I actually take advantage of all my free time and make myself work hard? For the past year it seems my main hobby is to borrow my mum's car, browse 4chan on my phone, drink tonnes of coffee and do very little work.

It just seems so fucking unbearable to imagine that I am literally paddling in the middle of an ocean of possibilities and reaching any shore will take hours and hours of painstaking paddling. And there's fog everywhere and I'm on my own.

I just feel so cucked no matter what I do. I studied applied maths today because I feel like a cuck for not knowing enough and while doing it I felt like a cuck for not doing something that would immediately lead to money. I feel cucked for sitting at home and I feel cucked being in busy places near Chad and Stacey couples.

I have never done anything outside of a structured environment. I always just follow the path given to me (though I barely did any work near the end of my degree, which was kind of freethinking of me, though mainly due to laziness). I have no patience. Everything seems either too trivial to bother with or immensely frustrating and beyond me.

What is there to do these days? It's either software or finance you are a peon. I am not ignorant. I look at who the successful famous people are. It's the same every time. Either software stuff or VC / hedge fund stuff. That's it.

I just can't be assed. I am lazy. I walked in to the computer science section of a library and saw ten trillion gigantic introductory text books, all for important topics.

People are always out to attack you if you haven't watched that movie or read that book or seen that play. It's all psychological warfare. Starbucks, Coca Cola, McDonalds, these are the most honest organisations in the world today, far ahead of all the universities. They sell you the products and you can judge them how you want and you have no further pressures. Universities are a caste branding system subsidised by the government.

>1 AM
>start reading novel but panic about my lack of worthwhile education and do 20 maths exercises
>4 am
>have read the rest of the novel (model behaviour) and finally go to sleep at 5am due to coffee overconsumption
>noon
>wake up and do online personality test for job application
>shower and borrow mum's car
>read 25 pages of the wealth of nations before giving it up out of boredom (on page 265)
>spend the next 6 hours browsing 4chan on phone, drinking coffee, feeling bad about my life, eating tonnes of junk food and telling myself it's the last time
>7 pm
>go to gym

This is what happens when you have no goals and your personal philosophy has solidified. Bitterness about being rejected by normies all through school and university and all jobs can't sustain shit.

>have to do "video interview" for civil service graduate application
>I.e. record myself answering questions using a webcam and being viewed later on by posh people who will reject me either due to my lack of a posh accent or my ugliness

Anyone can do these jobs. Anyone can be an investment banker. They pick people solely based on their normieness. That's why I've had 30 graduate or intern interviews and failed them all

What's that word for when you realise that you'll look back at the previous year and a half and realise it was completely wasted?

>finished a degree I hated
>worked retailcuck part time jobs
>barely read more than 5 books
>did maybe a month's worth of productive stuff in my free time
>went to the gym regularly and lifts went up but ate lots of junk food and had coffee enough to harm sleep at times
>main hobby was taking walks or driving and feeling sad about my life and telling myself I would work extremely hard to learn productive skills tomorrow
>wasted gigantic amounts of time on internet and 4chan browsing

I feel such like a useless pathetic loser when reading or watching a movie. I'm consuming and not producing. All the good looking Instagram people and famous people on twitter and rich people and people are living the life yet I do nothing all day.

I hate being told that I have to read 9001 books or else I'm dumb.

My existential crisis is powerful. Almost all jobs are meaningless, even the rich or sought after ones. The only people I respect are STEM researchers but I did a shitty engineering degree and can't bear not being rich so I can't be a physicist or mathematician. Almost all jobs are worthless intellectually. Being a doctor gives only social capital, it is an unintellectual job. Even actors are big faggoty pretenders.

The reason women never have existential crises is because to them attention is like sex for men, so they are constantly orgasming everywhere they go.

Being unattractive makes my life harder than yours. I don't have the motivation to eat healthily at all. The only reason I'm not morbidly obese is because I go to the gym a lot and lift lots of weights but I only do it out of habit. I don't want to acknowledge habits or follow schedules or have long term goals because they take away my feeling of having free will.

I haven't read anything insightful or mind opening for a long time and have realised that philisophy consists of just flailing about in the space of unfalsifiable thoughts.

>tfw graduated over a year ago
>tfw living at home
>tfw feel like going to the cinema and library just to not feel alone even though it's a false feeling (I have zero social life)
>tfw existential crisis is off the charts
>tfw no motivation to work hard
>tfw hate my humiliating part time retailcuck job that ruins my week despite being less than 20 hours
>hate the idea of full time work even more

I feel such like a useless pathetic loser when reading or watching a movie. I'm consuming and not producing. All the good looking Instagram people and famous people on twitter and rich people and people are living the life yet I do nothing all day.

I hate being told that I have to read 9001 books or else I'm dumb.

My existential crisis is powerful. Almost all jobs are meaningless, even the rich or sought after ones. The only people I respect are STEM researchers but I did a shitty engineering degree and can't bear not being rich so I can't be a physicist or mathematician. Almost all jobs are worthless intellectually. Being a doctor gives only social capital, it is an unintellectual job. Even actors are big faggoty pretenders.

The reason women never have existential crises is because to them attention is like sex for men, so they are constantly orgasming everywhere they go.

Being unattractive makes my life harder than yours. I don't have the motivation to eat healthily at all. The only reason I'm not morbidly obese is because I go to the gym a lot and lift lots of weights but I only do it out of habit. I don't want to acknowledge habits or follow schedules or have long term goals because they take away my feeling of having free will.

I haven't read anything insightful or mind opening for a long time and have realised that philisophy consists of just flailing about in the space of unfalsifiable thoughts.

I feel such like a useless pathetic loser when reading or watching a movie. I'm consuming and not producing. All the good looking Instagram people and famous people on twitter and rich people and people are living the life yet I do nothing all day.

I hate being told that I have to read 9001 books or else I'm dumb.

My existential crisis is powerful. Almost all jobs are meaningless, even the rich or sought after ones. The only people I respect are STEM researchers but I did a shitty engineering degree and can't bear not being rich so I can't be a physicist or mathematician. Almost all jobs are worthless intellectually. Being a doctor gives only social capital, it is an unintellectual job. Even actors are big faggoty pretenders.

The reason women never have existential crises is because to them attention is like sex for men, so they are constantly orgasming everywhere they go.

Being unattractive makes my life harder than yours. I don't have the motivation to eat healthily at all. The only reason I'm not morbidly obese is because I go to the gym a lot and lift lots of weights but I only do it out of habit. I don't want to acknowledge habits or follow schedules or have long term goals because they take away my feeling of having free will.

I haven't read anything insightful or mind opening for a long time and have realised that philisophy consists of just flailing about in the space of unfalsifiable thoughts.

>order the sound and the fury norton critical edition on amazon in very good condition
>it's missing the goddamn dust cover
>this edition's pages aren't even thread binded, they're binded with what appears to be a piece of paper
>I can print a return slip for free and return it for a full refund, but all this fucking effort for nothing
no no no no no no no no no. Now I'm gonna order an everyman's library copy.

How do I stop feeling guilty about not working non stop? Apart from things all humans do plus going to the gym, I feel guilty about any of my habits. And I have no goals.

I want to read books but I feel guilty about reading a set number of pages a day. I am worried about being called a pleb for not reading ten trillion boring Western canon novels. I feel like an ADD pleb for rarely reading more than 60 pages at a time. I hate that I'm more likely to put a book down at the end of a chapter.

Similarly for working. I know I could always be working to become better off. I know that people who talk about taking breaks are just lying to themselves. I feel bad for not having the willpower necessary to wotk non stop on one thing for 10 hours.

And the funny thing is that I'm a Stirnerite. When you stay unspooked then everyone else's belief system feels like a personal attack. Fuck these people who say that X is so important. X is always working hard / enjoying yourself / focusing on one thing / focusing on many things / reading history / classics / philosophy / other shit.

The awful thing is that I know everyone else is a fraud. That NFL player who everyone loves and says is hardworking has never read a book. That mathematics professor known as a genius is a disgusting dyel. That literary figures who goes on about Shakespeare being a god doesn't know any maths or science greater than an 18 year old yet claims to be worldly. That billionaire who goes on about humanity's big issues does nothing but write checks for people who make social media apps.

How do I stop feeling guilty about not working non stop? Apart from things all humans do plus going to the gym, I feel guilty about any of my habits. And I have no goals.

I want to read books but I feel guilty about reading a set number of pages a day. I am worried about being called a pleb for not reading ten trillion boring Western canon novels. I feel like an ADD pleb for rarely reading more than 60 pages at a time. I hate that I'm more likely to put a book down at the end of a chapter.

Similarly for working. I know I could always be working to become better off. I know that people who talk about taking breaks are just lying to themselves. I feel bad for not having the willpower necessary to wotk non stop on one thing for 10 hours.

And the funny thing is that I'm a Stirnerite. When you stay unspooked then everyone else's belief system feels like a personal attack. Fuck these people who say that X is so important. X is always working hard / enjoying yourself / focusing on one thing / focusing on many things / reading history / classics / philosophy / other shit.

The awful thing is that I know everyone else is a fraud. That NFL player who everyone loves and says is hardworking has never read a book. That mathematics professor known as a genius is a disgusting dyel. That literary figures who goes on about Shakespeare being a god doesn't know any maths or science greater than an 18 year old yet claims to be worldly. That billionaire who goes on about humanity's big issues does nothing but write checks for people who make social media apps.

Is it possible for me to go from a 30 pages per hour brainlet to a respectable 50 pages per hour without sacrificing anything?

>had 10 day holiday from 18 hour per week part time job
>went by in a flash
>can't motivate myself to stop binge eating or work hard during my copious amount of free time (learning programming etc)
>zero social life
>went through university with zero social life, not even acquaintances and never done anything with women, including asking one out, except for having prostitutes
>had zero interest in my degree subject, I did less than 40 hours of work in the final 1.5 years (not including sitting in lectures) but managed to escape with a 2:1
>lift lots of weights but I don't have a Chad face so I'll never get attention from women
>entertainment and art is just Chads and Staceys trying to blackmail me by saying I'm "close minded" and "Not cultured" if I don't spend free time on it
>too autistic to pass graduate job interviews that are no doubt soul crushingly dull anyway
>streets crawling with hot university students that I gawk at through the bus windows knowing I'll never even talk to them and they get dicked by 10 Chads a night
>have no productive interests - I only go to the gym, read books, or browse the internet
>my part time retailcuck job is absolutely humiliating and I'm either dreading it on free days or feeling like the day is ruined because of a 6 hour shift
>tfw I am unironically nihilistic

>tfw 24 almost 25 years old
>kissless virgin who has never been on a date or has even attempted to ask a girl out
>also very weird looking and ugly

>high school came and i had no friends
>being friendless in high school made me increasingly bitter angry and miserable as well as not learning how to socialize with people my age
>when college came, the years of social isolation meant that I had no idea how to socialize with these people in my dorm and job and campus and all that and honestly didn't really try that much and would only have roommates as my "friends"
>would be bitter as fuck seeing how much fun people had in college and all the girls who literally never even looked at me as well as missing all the opportunities everyone else had
>have the social life experiences of a 10 year old
>now out of college for a few years and make no attempt at all to socialize because i'm so broken and at the end of my rope
>have no ambition or motivation to do anything at all besides my entry level job because what's the point if i'm always going to be a complete loser

Why should I read literature if most literature is just the barely disguised narcissistic adapted memoir of some uber normie?

>go to city centre
>hot girls from the university everywhere
>hot women in office clothes everywhere
>realise that I went through all of university with no friends or attention from women
>realise I'm 24 and have missed out on all the young people stuff
>feel massively betrayed by society
>decide not to see movie because I'd be giving money to the uber attractive Hollywood people just to see 2018's tv movie

What's the fucking point?

>walk through the city centre and a street near a university as it's 5 pm and they're filled with hardbody qts and you alrrady graduated from the university and never talked to girls when you went to the university and you'll never talk to them now
>they probably regularly fuck Chads from tinder and go to clubs to harvest attention from Chads

How the hell do I cope with being 25 and driving around the city at 11 in the morning and seeing all these hot girls I never talked to ever while at university, knowing they fuck Chads regularly and go out to clubs while getting shitloads of attention and get shitloads of matches on Tinder and they easily know how easy their lives are?

How am I supposed to cope with having been friendless at university and never doing anything with any girl except prostitutes and knowing no girl has shown any interest in me ever? And in school I had friends but girls thought of me as a weirdo nerd (not that I talked to them or talked about my interests)?

Social conventions are a mask. I don't feel dumb or physically inadequate (although i wear glasses and do not have a good face, which obviously is a big factor) or insecure about things I can change. I am simply not a normie.

>Victorian novel is a messy toilet where the novelist took 9001 laxatives and shat out everything he has ever thought or seen without regard to prose, plot, novel structure,or reader enjoyment and the pseudo intellectuals line up to use it as a Rorshach test to tee off all of their unfalsifiable pseudo intellectual "scholarship"

Every time lads. This shit is killing literature.

>going home after 9 pm
>go past pub
>tonnes of new students there ready to debauch the place up and have unprotected sex and the times of their lives
>going home to my books which are written by trust fund babbies that will never care about me


Where is the consolation meant to come from? Does society try to shame us in to "being cultured" in order to subsidise the upper classes who have the free time and connections to create / market the art in the first place? I have been thinking of only reading immediately entertaining books to avoid this. My point is that I live in a society which doesn't care about me, so should I act more selfishly?


Another question to the students of the human condition (kek) on lit: I've never even flirted with a girl and I'm 24 and went through uni and I've never had attention from the opposite sex. How can I see any future possible relationships as authentic when women, given the freedom to be authentic at university, lacking the social pressure to look for beta providers, or any permanent relationships at all, free to only flit from Chad to Chad, never gave me any attention at all? Even if we ignore my own problems and generalise, how do other older men be with women who wouldn't have given them a thought when they had freedom? Is this the mental or emotional equivalent of having a fat gf?