/lit/ - Literature

http://pastebin.com/zpTDAefi

Working on a story about tiny people, about half an inch tall. Basic plot is:

> tiny dude living in hole in wall on counter
> hunts for ants and stuff
> goes out hunting, ends up trapped in shoe
> ends up climbing out outside of research facility
> inside more of these "minipeople" are being tested on and experimented on
> kept in check by tiny robots
> one guy is planning a resistance not understanding how futile it is
> ends up having many of the "minipeople" go to their deaths in fruitless battle
> uses acid and poison to try to kill humans

there's more but that's the basic idea.

>>7822866

Please get rid of the "he says" repeatedly. Tighten up the dialogue.

Say "she laughs while staring into her glass. Then looks back up to him."

And for when she says "You don't want to be with me, you want to fuck me" just leave it like that. Those words carry weight by themselves. Just make them their own line.

Can you post your actual stuff in pastebin so I can select it and work with it?

>>6842965

http://pastebin.com/3fgqiKyN

A story I first wrote when I was young, lately I have given a shot at rewriting it.

Plot is basically half-inch-tall people living in nooks and crannies, their rule is to never be seen by humans. This guy ends up captured in a laboratory where they gas these little people to death, has to deal with the insane guy who thinks half-inch tall men can take down humans with tear gas and poison and shit. The idea needs work but I am curious how the beginning is, and how my writing is in general.