/lit/ - Literature

“No one even looked up; All being plugged into headsets and playing video games linked to the Starbucks free router.”

Disgruntled and having missed my dose of Risperdal I gave my walking cane a twist and yanked out the hidden gadget circa 1850 Pepperbox six shooter. Attaching my own iPhone with a laser sight device (LSD) I honed in on the nearest Venti. Nothing like venting on a Venti. I carefully squeezed off a double action shot. The .18 caliber bounced off the paper cup. Lots of Flash but no download application?

The sipper remained entranced watching Avatar on Netflix.

The Barista intoned, “ Our attorney (a Barrister?) suggested we use Kevlar cups to avoid spillage during shootouts.”

I popped the last five making a happy face on the overhead menu. Then headed for my car. Grabbing my 1905 Holland & Holland double rifle I slammed home two 470 Belted Nitro Express. 500 grain lead full metal jacket and 73 grains FL Cordite powder. Designed for dangerous African game: Elephants, Lions and Tigers. That router is off to the Tullies.

Cal Blammo thought I. Clink clink went both firing pins. In Shock & Awe I jumped in my 1938 Hupmobile and headed back to the water. Driving through the Eucalyptus grove singing “... and here’s to you Missus Robinson…”

Then flashing lights. I stopped and putting on my best Sorry Occifer Facebook sorted in the gun box for my license. Fishing, hunting, bartender’s license. Here it is. Oops expired in 1968. “What’s wrong officer? Was I speeding?” He laughed, “At 85 mph? You must be from out of state. Driving while embracing. A serious offense in California.” My daughter laughed. “And a child at that.”