/lit/ - Literature

>>15683122
>>15683013
I just feel like I'm not a real person as a male, just a debased slaveoid

I'm starting to think that having romantic relationships and a family just aren't in my future. I struggle with intense body dysmorphia and dysphoria, I'm more self conscious about myself at 24 than I was as a teen. I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable in my body.

And that's okay. I'm trying to sublimate my energy in aesthetics. Photography, calligraphy, listening to the birds and the carriole near my house, the scent of plants. And of course, my trusty Pessoa.

All of my life is a cope and I'm becoming okay with that. I'm not suicidal like I used to be, thunderstorms and lilac bushes keep me from that now.

I'm not a person, not like the ones you see on the street, who you can tell have never really struggled or come to terms with their finitude, you can see it on their faces. They walk through life in a pleasant somnambulance. Never really conscious of anything except the next meal or fucking.

Not really sure why I'm writing this out, it feels so juvenile