/lit/ - Literature

>>8644222
This is a bit too mawkish for my tastes but it didn't make me wince. I'd say ditch the "unto," as it seems a bit too anachronistic and kinda juts.

>>8645061
Sorry bud, I am not reading anything that long in that color scheme.

>>8647956
Nicely emetic. Wouldn't be game for this for more than a paragraph or two though.

>>8648660
Not bad. Lionlike seems like a strange choice, though. Unless it has some deeper thematic significance that escaped me I would suggest changing it to leonine.

This is mine, in media res

Hope the text isn't too small. Would have put it in paste bin, but there are some italics.
Critiques coming in just a little bit.