/lit/ - Literature

>"Please have a seat Mr.Anon" OP directed Anon to the other end of his mahogany table. It was intellectually decorated with a bust of Hegel on top of three signed copies of Infinite Jest and a coffee cup with an obscure Latin phrase mixed with English.
>OP sat opposite of Mr.Anon, beginning to pull out a leather suitcase that he opened to reveal a strange contraption hidden inside.
>"This right here is a VKNF testing equipment, in a moment I will be attaching two adhesive pads to your temples and a clip to your foreskin"
>"The VKNF test? what is it for?" asked anon looking anxiously at the teeth of the large metal clamp.
>"It stands for Voight-Kampff New-Fag test. It detects even the slightest movement from your facial muscles and peen to analyze if you are indeed a new-fag" OP began pulling down Anon's pants so quickly the clamp was firmly on his foreskin before he even noticed what was happening.
>"Now I am going to ask you a number of questions to determine if you are indeed a New-Fag."
>"I am most certainly not a New-Fag! I have read mein kampf!" blurted anon out autisticly.
>"First Question: you see a post detailing the novel, "Ann Frank" OP noticed the gauge attached to his temples slightly oscillating. "and how many dead ann franks could fit in her attic." the gauges drops down to a low iq range. "The picture used for the post is of Annfrank, her body modified by AI to be 7ft tall with large breasts" The peen guage began oscillating violently to the coom range." and with an extended pregnant belly" The gauge dropped to the middle range "And a large 8inch throbbing cock with heavy testicles protruding where her genitals would be." The gauge dropped back to 0
>"I think that one is enough Mr. Anon" OP sunk back into his gaming chair with the pink cat-eat headset on the arm.
>OP began twirling in his chair before coming to stop abruptly, nearly falling down in the process "To verify this test I am going to need you to go down to the station and harass people to compare their bookshelves with you if your collection is found to be adequate you will pass as an OldFag"
>"That will be easy, I have read over 10 books this year!" anon declared.
>Without thinking OP pulled out a laser tube and plugged anon right between the eyes, his think box splattering the window behind him.
>"Old-fags don't read"

>>6769981

>>5048558
This is worse